#then it was no longer poignant and sweet and just got weird

[justsomeguycore]

sorry i want to be clear when i said emilia perez was “not bad” i didn’t mean it was good

[shortnotsweet]

Henry Danger Anon again and I AGREE I have a lot of thoughts about the more serious repercussions Ray's behavior had on Henry and the others as a whole. My biggest white whale is Henry's sense of self and identity and how he probably doesn't have a lot of it having grown up the way he did like. His parents were pretty dismissive of him but expected him to be the responsible one in a lot of situations. Paired with Ray's attitude and how Henry in his shoes as Kid Danger was expected to help everyone and always be okay/never have time for himself...Part of me imagines that he used it as a distraction to not have to think about finding himself, but it stunted him as an adult. Like he didn't have anything going for him in his mind so, he figured helping others would do something to help fuel his ego and self satisfaction. Growing up away from Swellview after he moves to Dystopia feels like it might've been a really big rush for someone who had to grow up so fast. I have an image in my mind of henry in a high rise apartment in dystopia leaning off of the balcony, watching the world go on below him. In the city nightlife light he smokes a cigarette and watches a woman get robbed in the street below him but he just watches, not being able to find enough in himself to do anything about it when its all he does day and night. i think it would consume him in a really weird way. Like a portrait of that man everyone fully expected him to become is always hung over behind him and he knows its what everyone sees, but he can't see it no matter how much he tries so how is he supposed to become it? or if he sees it in the mirror its distorted and questionable, and is it something he'd want to become? Sorry that got long fhgh I have so much opinions on Henry Danger

Ah don’t apologize!! I love, love, love this, you’re so big-brained, I agree 100%. You pointing out that Henry’s “stunted as an adult” because his own identity is so tied up in service is right on target, and something explored in a lot of Batfamily fics to great effect; I don’t think Henry Danger is quite as expansive or poignant as the DCU lol, but it takes a lot of cues from the Batman-Robin dynamic—probably Dick and Jason, most directly. The intersection of ego and intrusion with civic duty makes for overworked, moralistic children become jaded and stunted adults. If all you are is the labor you provide in relation to your maker, the only way to commit meaningful labor is to break away and remake yourself. There’s a suspense and gleeful disappointment in the fact that troubled children who grow into troubled adults rarely make themselves into something that their maker (their father, their agent, their god) would approve of, if not for the sake of ego alone. I think in his weakest moments Ray believes he’s a benevolent god wearing human skin, and at his best he knows he is disconnected from those around him but doesn’t have the awareness to properly mourn. There’s not enough grief in him. Most of that goes to Henry.

I think there’s something really sick and sweet and sad about making someone in your image, because the question of legacy is no longer about linear impact but the pain of impression—something I’ve mentioned in a few of my little comics, or fic comments, is how Ray’s relationship to Henry is canonically ambiguous. I feel it’s because he’s so many (and too many) things to him: pseudo-father figure, best friend, coworker and employer, mentor and rival, celebrity and ideological guide. He can’t be all of those things to him at once, not well, because there’s no good way to be someone’s best friend AND employer, a stranger and the kernel of consciousness. What is he is to Henry is too much, and that proximity can’t result in anything other than disillusionment. Of course his life was uprooted, of course life can’t exist in technicolor, of course we grow up and realize that those we revered aren’t gods, but people made of flesh that ages and rots like everyone else’s. Henry can’t go to college!! Henry can’t connect with his peers in a conventional way, Henry’s own friends become embedded in this life and ultimately fail to escape it!! It all ends and begins with Ray and the peculiarities of Swellview that have enabled this strange dynamic to begin with. It is too much to expect someone to make peace with it.

I described this sort of feeling, I think in one of my prior depictions of this disillusionment, as “sliding into apathy”, wherein Henry doesn’t lose his morals or his sense of right and wrong. The bitterness is that he still has that sense—that urge to do good, to find purpose, to fit into the cosmic logic of the universe—but he knows better now. He’s older. He’s tired. He’s not what he thought he’d be, and even so, the world remains as it is. Most of the little comic/texposts are shakily compliant with one another, with the main commonality being a running thread of dissatisfaction and a sort of weariness. In some of them, Ray is portrayed as a conceptual threat, or something that is explicitly endangering Henry to the point of psychological and emotional distress. There’s a dual failure: Ray claims he wanted Henry to grow into a replacement for the mantle, whereas Henry wants to grow into a version of himself. In the end, Henry doesn’t have a self separate from the echoes of those expectations, and all along Ray envisioned a stagnant future where neither of them would be required to grow at all. Ray can’t stop change—nature, which is change, which means Ray is not a god and subject to the same eventual loneliness as all other flesh people because he cannot dictate Henry stop growing or which direction he grows into—but Henry needs it more than anything. There are no heroes anymore, just yourself. That’s the most terrifying comfort either can find.

[zafirosreverie]

Cuando la veo (Julieta x F!Reader) part 2

part 1 << >>next

_________________

You sighed as you slowly closed the drawer, wishing it had taken you longer to unpack everything, but you had taken with you only the essentials, a lot of memories, and some pieces of jewelry. You just wanted to lie down and cry, but you knew that if you took any longer, your aunt would become suspicious, and you really didn't want to worry her. The woman who had been a second mother in your childhood had already done more than enough for you, the least you could do was spare her bad times.

Still, you didn't move immediately, trying to gather some strength to face the day ahead. Despite the fact that it was your first day in the town and you were exhausted from the trip, tía Laura had insisted that you at least know a little about the place, so that you would begin to become familiar with it. It's not like it was a big town, and even if you got lost, you could probably find the house back if you walked far enough, but you suspected that the real reason behind it all was that your aunt didn't want you to lock yourself in your room and carry on with your fest of self-hatred and guilt, which, unfortunately, was what you had planned to do.

"Only for you, Auntie" you thought aloud "I'm going to try for you because I owe it to you"

You closed your eyes and clenched your fists, holding back tears. You had really hoped that moving to Encanto would be a whole new life, that the magical place your aunt described could really make you forget everything. But no, the love you felt for Santiago and the pain of his departure was still there, fresh, poignant, and all too real.

"It's nice to see you here, dear"

Your aunt's cheerful voice brought you out of your thoughts and forced you to open your eyes to your reality. You assumed that her friend had arrived. Great, time to ponder fake smiles and pretend you weren't falling apart. You tried to strain your ears to hear the conversation.

"I'm saying the same, Laura" answered a polite voice "It's been a while"

You couldn't hear anything else. For some reason, your legs grew weak and your pulse raced as your mind repeated the sweet, warm, and slightly sensual tone of your aunt's guest. It surprised you that your body reacted that way, and a huge feeling of guilt invaded you, but you couldn't shake the thought that the mysterious woman really had a pretty voice.

“Enough, Y/N” you chided yourself in a low voice “This is not the time for you to start being weird. You're going downstairs, you'll politely greet Mrs. Alma and you will pretend that everything is fine"

Anyway, you assumed that was what you should do. No one here knew you, so there was no point waiting for them to feel empathy for you if they saw you cry, nor did you want to tell your tragedy left and right. You simply wanted to look like a happy and cheerful young woman, content to live a new life in a place far away from the land where she was born. Easier said than done, but you had to fake it until you believed it.

"Okay, here I go"

You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and turned the doorknob. Your first footsteps were louder than you'd expected, but you managed to calm down a bit as you reached the stairs. You really hoped that your aunt's friend didn't realize how nervous you were, you didn't want to give her a bad impression if only to avoid embarrassing tía Laura. You descended the stairs with a horrible tightness in your chest, feeling how the palms of your hands began to sweat with each step, but you refused to run away. It was just one more stranger, a greeting and that was all, you could do it. So why did it feel like everything was going to change at once? As if meeting this woman would mean realizing that your life had really changed?

Probably because it was true. You had spent months locked up and in denial after losing Santiago, months in which only Laura had been able to talk to you, even if it was through letters, and in which she had kept begging you to move in with her. You knew she cared for you, you were the only family she had left, and that was the only thing you could hold on to, and in that feeling of familiarity, it had been easy to imagine that there was only the two of you, that nothing else was real.

Meeting Alma Madrigal (or anyone other than your aunt, if you were being honest), meant getting out of that bubble and coming to terms with the fact that you were miles away from home, in another country, and that the world moved on without you. And you didn't know if you were ready. You stopped short when you saw a female figure in front of your aunt. Her back was turned, but it didn't matter, it was her clothes that had brought back painful memories, making you freeze in place. She was dressed in blue.

"My precious alhelí, she has just arrived" you heard your aunt speak "and I must say that her hands are more skilled, and her designs far exceed any of mine”

You had not heard the rest of the conversation, too lost in your thoughts and trying to calm the panic attack that had invaded you, but it was not necessary, you knew that she was talking about her sewing workshop and although you knew that she had good intentions, the truth was it was that there was some pressure on you for it, you weren't sure you could fill her shoes, but you would try. You forced yourself to speak, it would be pathetic if your first meeting with someone from the place ended with you frozen in place without responding.

"No one could top your designs, tía, but I appreciate the compliment" you smiled softly.

You had reached the last step, your aunt and her friend had heard you, they knew of your presence, there was nowhere to run or turn back. You watched the woman jump a little at the suddenness of your voice, and though you felt a little guilty, you found the movement and the slight, almost inaudible gasp she had let out kind of cute. The woman turned to look at you, and you felt as if time had stopped.

The brunette in front of you had a round and smooth figure that magnified the deep maternal warmth that radiated from her. Her dark skin glowed with beautiful pink and purple undertones, contrasting with the yellow of the sun coming through the window. Her round face was adorned with beautiful subtle freckles that did nothing but beautify her face caressed by time. But what caught your attention the most and made you forget even the pain that the color of her clothing had caused you, were her eyes.

They were beautiful, big, a little droopy, adorned with lush and tender eyelashes, but you had never seen eyes so full of love, life, and compassion. There was an entire galaxy in that pair of chocolate pools as if they had seen the saddest things, but also the most beautiful things on Earth. They had a beautiful, warm, and kind look that invited to get lost in them.

You could feel the blood rushing to your face, probably giving you away on your cheeks, and your pulse was so racing that you wondered how you were still alive. You tried not to fix your gaze on her too much, so as not to make her feel uncomfortable, but it was impossible for you to take your eyes off the beauty in front of you, and when she smiled at you, so calm and welcoming, you felt your breath start to fail. What the hell was happening to you?!

"Oh! Y/N, just in time" your aunt told you cheerfully "Come, I want to introduce you to someone"

The older woman, unaware of the state you were in, carefully took your arm firmly, pulling you to stand right in front of your guest. Looking up close to her, she didn't look as old as you had imagined after hearing your aunt talk about her. Sure, her hair was flecked with silver ribbons, and there were soft lines at the corners of her lips and the corners of her eyes, but she didn't look any older than tía Laura, so you assumed you weren't, in fact, in front of Alma Madrigal.

"Y/N, this is Julieta, daughter of Alma" your aunt said "Julieta, this is my beloved niece, Y/N"

“Nice to meet you, Y/N” the brunette said, smiling friendly and extending her hand towards you.

You could hear yourself responding and shaking her hand, but it seemed like you were seeing it all in third person because all you could really focus on was how soft her skin was and how weak your knees felt suddenly. You didn't know what kind of powers this woman had to disarm you just two seconds after meeting her, and as much as you hated yourself at that moment, deep down you knew that that soft, deep, and sensual voice was going to haunt your dreams.

Although you weren't the only one who was having trouble processing the surreal scene that was being created.

Julieta tried her best to keep a neutral face and prayed to all the saints that came to mind that her brown skin was hiding her blush well, but the truth was that all she could think about was how beautiful you were and how the air seemed to tighten more and more. She didn't understand why her body was reacting that way to you, you were pretty, yes, but you were a complete stranger to her, she barely knew your name and it was evident that she was too many years older than you.

She shouldn't be feeling butterflies waking up inside her, butterflies like the ones her husband hadn't made her feel in years. And yet here she was, in her fifties, with mounting stress at losing the home she had grown up in and lived in all her life, terrible sadness at losing her family as well, but with a dangerously familiar feeling slowly blooming in her chest.

"She will be in charge of my workshop" Laura said, unknowingly breaking the spell that had wrapped around you.

You and Julieta jumped a little and quickly separated when you noticed that you were still holding hands You couldn't look her in the eye and she mentally scolded herself for that second of weakness, though she was quick to understand that she was simply fooling herself, that the stress and negative feelings that were haunting her were finally taking their toll. That you were absolutely beautiful had only been a fluke that her treacherous mind had taken advantage of…right?

You chuckled a bit and tried to ignore the churn in your stomach when the brunette looked at your aunt in surprise. Yes, they had been talking about you and your future role in the town before you introduced yourself, but you assumed that the same thing had happened to her: it was different to have the real person in front of you than just an idea. You didn't know why the idea that she could be surprised by you made you so excited.

"Well, I have no doubt that the designs will be art if the creator is so beautiful" Julieta said without thinking.

As her own words registered in her mind, she wished she could disappear at that moment. What kind of weird person would say such things about a young lady she had only just met?! She felt foolish and wrong. And yet, you were smiling at her with such tenderness, emotion, and hope, that her heart had no choice but to beat faster, while her brain tried to reconnect with everything.

"Thank you" you said softly, cheeks so red you were sure you looked like a tomato "I'm really not that good but-"

"Nonsense" your aunt interrupted you "This girl has known how to use a needle and thread since she was 5 years old"

"6, auntie" you corrected her kindly

"It's the same" she smiled at you "The point is, you have an amazing talent, my little dove, and I'm sure that all of Encanto will soon be dazzled by your brilliance"

You just rolled your eyes affectionately while tía Laura affectionately squeezed your cheeks. It was a bit embarrassing if you were being honest, especially with a woman you didn't know (but who was making an awfully good impression on you quickly), but you'd never been able to deny your aunt these gestures. That the brunette smiled at you with complicity had nothing to do with your decision to allow it.

"Then I guess you don't have anything to worry about, Y/N" she said, savoring every syllable of your name "I wish you the best of luck."

"T-thank you very much" you said politely.

There was something about the way your name sounded in her voice, the soft, gentle way she pronounced it, that made your already weak legs want to finish melting. You really needed fresh air to calm you down, or your head would start spinning.

"I'd better get back home before Mom worries" Julieta said.

The truth was, she didn't feel like going back to that strange house she barely knew, and she knew her mother probably wouldn't even notice her absence if she decided to skip dinner, but she needed to leave before the heat in her guts boiled over and she committed more mistakes than she could handle. She didn't want to think about the effect you had on her, but it was undeniably dangerous and confusing, she needed to get out of there.

"Of course dear" Laura replied "Thank you again"

"It was no problem" she smiled "And welcome to Encanto, Y/N" she added, unable to stop herself from saying your name again.

"Thank you, Mrs. Madrigal" you responded politely

"Call me Julieta" the brunette told you, not knowing if she was crossing more lines than allowed "My mother is Mrs. Madrigal"

“O-okay” you chuckled softly “...Julieta”

You couldn't help but feel a shiver running down your spine at the moment you saw the sincere smile she offered you as if you were doing her a great favor by saying her name, or as if it was the first time she had really heard it. It didn't matter, the fact was that it made you feel a little more excited.

You watched in silence as the woman said goodbye to your aunt and disappeared through the door, following her every move unconsciously and not really noticing the knowing look the older woman was giving you.

"Sweet Julieta" Laura said with a touch of drama "Lucky thing that she was the first Madrigal you met, dear."

"Why?" you asked, looking at her with a curious frown

"Because she is the kindest of them all" she smiled at you "...and she is also beautiful, isn’t she?"

Your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks catch fire again. You turned your head to avoid your aunt's gaze, but her scandalous (although warm) laugh resonated deep within your being. Guilt swirled inside you again and the cold in your chest seemed to grow as if it were trying to get bigger than the soft warmth that was slowly beginning to rise inside you as well. You ignored your aunt's taunts, but deep inside you couldn't help but think that even if the town didn't turn out to be as magical as you thought, at least one person in it was.

[fanfictionwritingoddity]

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙮’𝙨 𝙆𝙧𝙮𝙥𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚: 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6𝙠 𝐭𝐰: 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙟𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙮, 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙟𝙪𝙧𝙮, 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 - 𝙝𝙪𝙙𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 | 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 | 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑 | 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟒

( 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎!𝙾𝚒𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚃𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚞 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 )

A loud cheer left your lips as Seijoh secured yet another point. The game had progressed into the third set, and the score was now 15-24, your hometeam only one point away from victory. Kaori trembled in excitement next to you, her cheeks pinking under the heat of the gym lights. She had caught Oikawa’s eyes more than once as they drifted up to your seats, and just that fact alone was enough to set her face aflame. Had she finally gotten the captain to notice her?

No, the only person Tooru could ever see was you.

You hadn’t noticed the setter’s longing stares, more focused on the player with a big number 2 on his back. He smirked at his fellow blocker once the ball smacked against the opposite end of the court, silently celebrating his success. A smile creeped across your lips as you watched the display, heart thumping unsteadily in your chest. Matsukawa’s brown eyes flitted to your face for a moment, drinking in your beam before grinning back.

The interaction was brief, but Oikawa didn’t miss anything. He almost wished he didn’t see the way your expression brightened for the few seconds you basked in Issei’s attention, or the unsteady hand you clenched against your chest when he looked away. Tooru was unable to keep his left eye from twitching slightly as a wave of irritation slammed into him like a tsunami. So that was who you liked, huh?

What did Matsukawa Issei have that he didn’t?

Oikawa was extremely aggressive for the last point, serving so hard that a player on the opposing team got hit and ended up with a bloody nose. Everyone just figured he was excited to win and the adrenaline of the finishing play had gotten to him. Well, they weren’t entirely wrong. He was excited to win. But, the player he had ‘accidentally’ hit looked strangely similar to Matsukawa.

There was nothing wrong with some harmless target practice, right?

Once the game was over, you couldn’t stop yourself from rushing down from the stands over to the Seijoh team. Kaori was close behind you, clutching a clean towel that she planned to give to Oikawa. You barely awarded said man a glance as you dashed right by him, already on your way to Matsukawa’s side.

The hand Tooru had lifted to cheekily wave in greeting hung awkwardly at his side for a good three seconds after you passed. He couldn’t suppress the jealousy bubbling in his stomach. It felt acidic, burning and dangerous. However, the player was forced to quickly swallow the venom crawling up his throat as he noticed Kaori nervously shuffling up to him.

“You did great out there,” you exclaimed, handing your best friend his water bottle. He gave you his signature droopy-eyed smile as he took the drink from your hand. Oikawa’s hands were trembling as he gripped the towel your friend had given him, finding the sickeningly sweet smile she wore nothing short of disgusting.

Eventually, after about three insufferable minutes of listening to you chat it up with the lazy bastard you had set your sights on, Tooru couldn’t handle it anymore. He whipped around, setting his sights on your back, which was facing him. Matsukawa quirked an eyebrow at his captain's rigid stance but ignored it, continuing his conversation with you. Without a moment of hesitation, the setter crept up behind you, wrapping his long arms around your waist and setting his chin on your shoulder, dangerously close to your ear.

“I didn’t know you knew Matsukawa, cutie!”

His voice was sultry, and his breath sent shivers down your spine because of his close proximity. Oikawa ignored the flutter in his stomach, opting to let out a sad hum and pout. You sighed, shimmying out of the boy’s hold, before turning to him.

“He’s my best friend.”

There was a warning in your eyes, because you knew he was aware of how you felt about Issei. Tooru feigned ignorance, innocently tilting his head in wonder. Matsukawa rolled his eyes and sighed, bending down and beginning to pack his volleyball bag that was sitting on the bench.

“Don’t be weird, Oikawa.”

Suddenly, he stopped, straightening his posture as he turned to look at you guiltily.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m not going to be able to walk you home today… I have to walk someone else.”

It was difficult to hide the way your heart broke as Issei muttered his excuse, but somehow you managed. After all, you had seen him date other people before. This would be no different. Pulling a weak smile onto your lips, you silently handed him his towel while nodding.

“Perfect! I’ll take her home then.”

Oikawa’s quip had been unexpected, and left your jaw to drop slightly in shock. Oh, hell no. You desperately pulled out your phone, hoping to feign getting a text from your parents. Before you could turn it on, a hand covered the screen, keeping you from clicking anything. Fear gripped your heart as you slowly dragged your gaze up, meeting the playboy’s face. You then noticed the knowing grin that was playing on his lips.

There would be no way out of this one.

You quickly learned that slowing your pace in hopes of being able to lag behind slightly and defeat the notion that you two were really walking home together didn’t work, as Tooru would just wait for you to be by his side before beginning his walk again. The silence was deafening, and unfortunately it gave you time to mull over the entire reason you were walking with the team captain in the first place - Matsukawa had been busy with someone else.

You had no right to be jealous. You and him weren’t even dating, for god's sake! Unfortunately, that didn’t stop said emotion from plaguing your mind, mixing with the poignant sorrow that already sat there. It was a wonder that you weren’t used to this, you had been in love with Issei for two years and he had never shown any romantic interest in you. For so long, you stood idly by while he weeded through girlfriends and crushes, unable to ever confess your own feelings. 

Silently clutching your bag a bit tighter, you willed your eyes to stay glued on the pavement in front of you. Your slight tenses didn’t go unnoticed by Oikawa, who’s chocolate brown orbs flickered to you the moment you moved. He was quiet for a second, drinking in your conflicted expression and stance, before dragging his gaze away.

“Does he know how you feel?”

You weren’t able to verbally answer, choosing to just shake your head instead.

“Thought so,” he muttered, a wry smile playing on his lips. 

The absence of conversation was slightly more comfortable after that, but you didn’t know how much longer you could hold back your tears. It just hurt so, so much. Without even a glance in your direction, Oikawa placed his hand gently upon your head, his lithe fingers slightly carding your locks aside to find a comfortable resting place. This action froze you in your spot, which it seemed he predicted, considering he stopped at the exact same time. When you turned your face to him, intending to question his strange behavior, his hand slipped to your cheek, thumb caressing under your eye with unrivaled gentleness.

“Don’t cry over someone like him. He doesn’t deserve it.”

There was a certain softness in Tooru’s eyes, the brown seeming more like the color of oak bark when bright leaf filtered sunlight hits it just right. But deep down in his gaze, somewhere hidden below, was a darkness, something terrifying and dangerous. Against every cell in your body, your cheeks heavily heated at the affectionate action.

After a few moments of trying to catch your breath, you realized your surroundings looked eerily familiar. Once you spared more than a glance at them, it hit you - you were outside of your house. How did you get here so quickly? And how did Oikawa know where you lived? He never once asked for directions. Before you could ask any questions, he removed his hand, giving you a gentle nudge towards your front door.

You offered a small smile, turning on your heel and walking up the path to the entrance. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was.

You never did look back to see if he had left.

No, he didn’t leave. Tooru stayed outside your home for almost an hour after you had gone inside, simply watching lights flicker on and off as you made your way through the house. It gave him an odd sense of peace, slowing his heart down to the pace it would take when one was meditating. But any time he thought of the boy who had hurt you, it spiked so violently he had to catch his breath.

How dare he. Not that Matsukawa was worth your time anyways. He didn’t deserve a single sliver of your existence, he didn’t even deserve to breathe your air. No, and he wouldn’t any longer. You were an angel among men, a diamond in the rough, and any other person was lucky to be in your presence.

You needed to be protected.

Everyone else would only hurt you, they would only taint you and use you like Matsukawa did. Well, lucky for you, Oikawa was more than glad to fill the role of the princess’s knight. He would burn the world down if it meant you would be his.

Flicking out his phone, the captain typed a few things before holding it up to his ear.

“Hey, Matsukawa, can I come over? I have some homework questions.”

𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 :  @kray-dragon , @lagoonsmainacc , @steampunkhell

[vickyvicarious]

do u have any atla fic recs? all time faves? can be shippy or not

Fun fact, I am incapable of holding back on reclists. In other words: brace yourself, anon. There’s a reason I put most of this behind a cut.

First off, these are almost all Zuko-centric, because I shamelessly play favorites. I’ll sort them by author rec, gen, shippy, and then by other characters because honestly the numbers break down well that way. Within those categories it’ll be more just as I think of it, so no special meaning to the order. I’m not always good about bookmarking even my faves, so some excellent stuff will no doubt be missing, especially since I haven’t read a lot of the more recent stuff yet/forgot some really old stuff, but this will definitely still give you plenty of fic to enjoy.

There’s a good number of FFN links on here so apologies to people who dislike it, but a lot of great stuff is still on there so give it a chance.

Author recs

Everything by @awesomeavocadolove​​  Such hits as Another Brother (Zuko adopted by Hakoda pre-S1), and currently has a Zukka soulmate fic I’ve been meaning to start reading, as well as Unchained Melody, one of my favorite Zukka fics ever. Always quality, you can’t go wrong.

Everything by KimberlyT.  I do not kid. She’s written a variety of ATLA fic ranging from Zutara/other romance to gen, seriously emotional to cracky cabbagebending. I think my favorite is probably Mismatched (S1 Zuko adopts a baby) but honestly just go read it all.

Everything by @emletish-fish​​. She has a very fun writing style and honestly her end-of-chapter notes on why she’s made the choices she has are fun minimetas worthwhile in their own right. Some of her top fics are the Stalking Zuko series (S3 suspicious Katara to Zutara) and The Worst Prisoner (the Gaang kidnaps Zuko in S1 and can’t get rid of him). I think there’s still a good amount of her fic that can only be found on FFN so check there too.

Everything by @botherkupo​​. Especially her Undying Fire series (healer!Zuko) but also just literally everything she writes, it is all so great. Tends toward Zutara but strong gen fics as well sometimes and a lot of fun. Check it all out!

Everything by @muffinlance​​. Loves to toy with her readers’ emotions in the best of ways. Tons of fantastic gen Zuko-centric AUs, I have adored every single fic I’ve ever read by her, can’t praise them enough. Very productive as well, her tumblr is a hub for the ATLA renaissance and her fics inspire lots of others. Has also organized a fanmade ATLA coloring book for charity so get that once it’s out. In the meantime read everything she’s written.

Everything by Haicrescendo. My favorite is What We’re Given (the series where Zuko finds more air bisons and raises them), but there’s a lot of good Zukka fic too. I tend to steer away from explicit works in this fandom unless it’s a smaller part of a much longer plot-centric fic, so there are a number I haven’t read, but I really like the Pokemon!AU Zukka.

Everything by @gaycinema. I really love the EK fight club series (Zuko fights in Rumbles/etc.) but all of it is a good read. Some Jetko, mostly a lot of introspective or emotional oneshots. Which isn’t really a great depiction of how good they tend to be, you’ll just have to read them and find out. You won’t regret it, trust me.

Everything by @captainkirkk. So far eight stellar fics, starting with kind Fire Lord Zuko and ranging to Floating Tea Shop!Zuko who doesn’t want to hunt the Avatar. I love her style and have laughed out loud at multiple of these. 

Gen Zuko fic

Bringing Out the Blue by maguena1. [unfinished, long] Definitely worth the read. The first ATLA fic I ever got really sucked into. The Blue Spirit never gets knocked out so Aang doesn’t know his true identity; he joins the Gaang on a recurring basis, while Zuko attempts to tell himself this is only for information on how to catch them, they definitely aren’t his friends.

It’s Impossible by Sandra Phillips. [abandoned, long] One of the earliest Avatar!Zuko fics (sort of) and a really interesting take on some spirit stuff.

Embers by Vathara. [complete, long] A landmark fic in the fandom, and for good reason. I didn’t love everything about this fic, but it is very well-written and an absorbing read certainly worth the praise. 

the art of description by incandescens. [oneshot, short] Five descriptions of Zuko and Toph’s field trip from various perspectives. Short, sweet, and funny.

Breaking Point by Kryal. [oneshot, short] Zuko isn’t banished but instead sent to serve in the Home Guard. I love Zuko loving his people, and alternate canon explorations, and this is exactly that.

The Alternative by Lunatique. [oneshot, short] The reason Zuko is so determined is because he fears what will happen if he isn’t the next Fire Lord. An idea I support in canon, to a degree, written well.

Hands and Knees by gigerisgod. [oneshot, short] Zuko reflects on the choices he’s made, and experiences he’s had, when joining the Gaang. A nice introspective fic.

Relative Misery by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Toph complains about her family and Zuko takes her on a field trip. Not a fic I take too seriously, but funny in a sad way.

Second Nature by lazyartisan. [possibly abandoned, long] An AU stemming from Zuko’s capture at the North Pole. Well-written and characterized, an old favorite that I actually find needing to reread to give you more detail, but I can promise it’s good.

Year One by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Lessons Zuko learns in his first year being Fire Lord. I really like explorations of Zuko’s journey as Fire Lord and this is a lovely little window into that.

Soft by PenPistola. [oneshot, short] Zuko and Toph bonding after the Ember Island Players. Short and sweet.

The New Phoenix King by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] Fire Lord Zuko is overthrown, and no one but him is bothered at all. In fact they help. Hilarious crack.

First Name Basis by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] There’s some popular posts going around Tumblr lately about Zuko not knowing the Gaang’s names, but this fic did it first back in 2008. As amusing as you’d expect.

Male Bonding by glamaphonic. [oneshot, short] The original ‘Zuko and Sokka bond and are also dumb idiot boys’ fic. Katara is permanently rolling her eyes.

it’s not the waking, it’s the rising by isamagicdragon, thegracious [ongoing, series, medium] Azulon tells Ozai to kill Azula instead of Zuko, which leads to heartwrenching fire sibs adventure. I haven’t caught up on the last chapter yet but god is it fantastic and also just a really interesting and new perspective on what could have happened.

Doe-Eyed by Anonymous. [complete, medium] Zuko is a baby, Azula is a loving big sister. More fire sibs and a great exploration on Azula’s POV of turning against Ozai.

kintsugi by discordiansamba. [ongoing, series, long] Zuko doesn’t have Iroh after being banished, and winds up hired as a guard to protect the frail Beifong daughter. Fantastic preseries Zuko+Toph found family fic.

Legacies by WildInkling. [ongoing, medium] Far in the future, a historian studies the journal of Fire Lord Zuko. Also, he was secretly a famous author but no one knows. A funny and poignant outsider POV.

#UndercoverZuko series by naggeluide. [complete, series, short] A completely cracky concept written straight enough to be actually quite touching in parts, but also just really funny. Zuko goes Undercover Boss on his ship pre-series.

Avatar Ficlets by JaggedCliffs. [series, oneshots, short] An ongoing series of disconnected oneshots, mostly post-canon and mostly Zuko-centric. Some a pretty fun, one is a great view on Zuko and lightningbending, all worth the read (and follow for when more come out).

The Blind Leading the Blue by BrusselsSprout. [ongoing, medium] An epic Zuko and Toph field trip set in S2. I love them and this.

half in the shadows, half burned in flames by r_astra. [oneshot, short] Iroh dies, Zuko gets caught on the Day of Black Sun, everything ends up all right but damn does it hurt getting there.

A Tale of Earth and Fire by chiiyo86. [complete, medium] Zuko and Toph are married for Politics in a FN Wins AU, and follows them slowly bonding as friends to beginning a revolution. They’re married but it’s not romantic, just some good friendship.

Eight Principles of Yong by psocoptera. [oneshot, short] An exploration of immediate post-show FN politics (sort of), calligraphy, and Zuko. Also has some lovely non-fighting firebending; I always love when people explore other uses of bending.

Healing Properties of Cinder Sage by Dawen. [oneshot, short] Zuko gets very sick in the Western Air Temple. Some good interaction when he’s new to the Gaang, and Toph+Zuko friendship.

We Ourselves Must Walk The Path by WinterSky101. [complete, medium] The Gaang agrees to make Zuko their prisoner in the WAT. Speaking of new-to-the-Gaang, tension, this fic has plenty of it, and also features some good Toph and Zuko.

Frozen by Aris Merquoni. [oneshot, medium] Zuko is captured in the NWT. Some politics, lots of angst, and eventually, healing. Also actually makes me somewhat like Hahn? Incredibly enough.

Reluctant Hero by PAW_07. [ongoing, long] Avatar!Zuko fic. I got to beta it way back when for a little while before I got too busy, and have always been a huge fan of this fic. Great concept, one of the best executions of it I’ve seen, and also one of the first. Definitely read this.

Morality Chain by Pureauthor. [abandoned, long] Azula and Zuko were always on each other’s side; how this changes canon. I love this concept and would happily read a lot more fics with it (please guys, I need more fire sibs).

A viper-lizard’s tales series by Yumi_Take. [ongoing, long] The world needs more of Zuko adopting pets and small children, and those are just facts. This only has one of the two, but it’s a EK baby! Jet plays a big role in this fic as well, a weird kind of uncle-ish to the baby/friend/murderer Zuko needs to watch closely and hold back kind of thing.

(life happens) wherever you are by howlikeagod. [ongoing, long] Katara doesn’t find Zuko and Iroh in the teashop, and canon takes a sharp left turn. Excellent Gaang fic.

The Best Path series by EudociaCovert. [series, ongoing, long] Zuko meets Jet in ‘Zuko Alone’ and winds up getting claimed as theirs by the remaining Freedom Fighters. Really really well-written, I got quite emotional over some scenes.

Shippy Zuko fic

Balm by Thyme In Her Eyes. [Maiko, oneshot, short] A sweet little fic about Mai’s thoughts on Zuko’s lightning scar.

The Black Games by Mrs. Pettyfer. [Zutara, complete, long] Hunger Games-esque AU. It’s the first in a series, and I lost interest after this one but I remember enjoying the fic and it was more personal preference rather than a drop in quality that had me leaving.

Lie To Me by Inkcharm. [Toko, oneshot, short] I’m not actually a fan of this pairing romatically (at least until years down the line), but this little fic of Toph and Zuko bonding through lying to one another is sweet. I choose to ignore the more shippy parts and enjoyed it.

Zutara? What the heck is that? by Ryxl. [Zutara, oneshot, short] Complete crack, have a good sense of humor and I think you will enjoy. Just the mental image of the Gaang finding a Zutara propaganda flyer had me chuckling.

The Three Chores series (1, 2, 3) by Fandomme. [Zutara, threeshot, short] Zuko and Katara slowly bond as he helps with chores. I will admit it’s been years and I barely remember this, but what I do recall is lovely and I always appreciate people lightening Katara’s load.

read the inscription by suzukiblu. [Zuko/Song, complete, series, medium] When Zuko is banished, he is left alone in the Earth Kingdom to fend for himself. Very touching, and I love Song in this.

Hooked by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] A classic ‘Jet didn’t see Iroh warming his tea’ fic. They’re almost all this premise but so many well-written and very long ones. 

Something To Hold Onto by Wildgoosery. [Jetko, complete, long] The EK fell and Li stayed to fight with the Freedom Fighters to protect the city during its foreign rule. Jet didn’t see the tea fic that goes very AU from canon.

Foxfire by Rahar_Moonfire. [Jetko, ongoing, long] Zuko loses his memories Jetko fic, but with heavy spirit influence and lovable EK OCs, both of which I adore and should be in far more fics.

Once Upon A Teashop by anaer. [Zukka, Jetko, ongoing, long] Cracky Ba Sing Se AU that gets gradually more and more serious. Jet hits on Zuko a lot and Sokka gets a job in the teashop to keep an eye on both of them. Endgame Zukka but heavy Jetko, and both pairings are handled pretty well, not a love triangle that makes me too mad, although as always bear in mind Jet’s messed up. 

Names by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] I feel like I’m forgetting some more excellent Amnesia!Zuko fics, but this is one I do know of. To be honest I don’t remember it super well because it may be mixed up with other Jetko/amnesia fics in my mind, but I think it was really good. I’ll have to reread myself.

Epistles by Lady_of_the_Flowers. [Zukka, ongoing, long] I love epistolary fic and I love Zuko and Sokka bonding earlier in canon. I will be honest I haven’t read this in a long time and been updating all the while, but the premise alone (Zuko and Sokka become messenger-hawk-pals in S1 and then fall in love) is fantastic. 

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought. [Zukka, ongoing, long] Zuko rebels earlier and actually is sent to the mines, until he is ‘rescued’ by the Water Tribe. Dark but getting lighter over time, and more reluctant-to-rule Zuko which always wrenches my heartstrings. I prefer super loyal and dutiful to his people Zuko but this trope always makes me feel things.

Crossovers

Fallen Drops of Fire by Chasmfiend. [Fullmetal Alchemist, ongoing] Young Azula and Zuko somehow appear in Amestris, and encounter Roy Mustang. I adore the fire sibs, and their relationship in this strange situation is the star of this fic for me, but it’s also fun seeing the FMA perspective of these two.

The Dragon-King’s Temple by Kryal. [Stargate SG-1, long, complete] The best crossover fic out there. Zuko and Toph get stranded on the other side of a Stargate. I don’t know anything about SG-1 but it didn’t matter, the fic was fantastic, they were badasses, it explored language and culture from an outside perspective, and it was just a ton of fun. Must-read.

Other character fic

Loyalty by Julia451. [oneshot, short] The ship captain didn’t misspeak when he called Iroh and Zuko “prisoners” in the start of S2. A lovely look at a nameless character, giving depth to a small moment and humanity to a FN soldier which I always love.

The Only One by HarlowR. [oneshot, short] An excellent exploration of Azula’s mindset regarding Zuko, her desperate need to be loved and jealousy of him matching his own. I think Azula was one of the greatest tragedies of the show, and this fic makes me feel it.

Blood by theAsh0. [oneshot, short] Katara-centric thinkpiece on bloodbending and healing. Dark but really interesting.

Touch and Go by Cadence. [oneshot, short] After Iroh’s struck by lightning, Toph doesn’t let Zuko drive them all away. A momentary alliance and the seeds of friendship. More Toph-focused but still heavy on the whole Gaang.

Shortcomings by Menamebephil. [oneshot, short] Iroh thoughts during his imprisonment, on the theme of mistakes. I love this man and don’t understand why I am so drawn to fic about him that makes me sad.

Watch And Review, Please by Becca Stareyes. [oneshot, short] The Ember Island Players receive some constructive criticism... sort of. Funny and quick.

Azula Redemption Trilogy (1, 2, 3) by Mistress of Sarcasm. [threeshot, short] Second person and deeply introspective, three short little fics delving into Azula’s head and bringing her closer to redemption.

Echoing Refrains by catie_writes_things. [oneshot, short] I really like nuanced explorations of the whole FN royal family. It’s perfectly fine to write Ozai as pure evil bastard, but exploring  what might have been or how he got there, or even as in this fic his talent for music being inherited by Zuko is really interesting too. Iroh-centric.

our curse by ohmygodwhy, and the last dragon by thesometimeswarrior. [twoshot, complete, short] Stay away if you don’t like to cry. In the first Zuko learns Ozai is executing Iroh, and isn’t able to stop it; the second is even worse because it’s Iroh’s POV. I put this in the other characters section because honestly I adore the second fic even more than the first, but they are both fantastically written and will hurt you a very great deal.

Finally, I’m not quite bold enough to put my own fic on a reclist, but just shameless enough to mention I’ve written a few Avatar fics I quite like if anyone feels the desire to check them out on my AO3. ;) But seriously give love to all the rest of these, they deserve it. (And as I said, there’s lots more excellent stuff, this fandom is so prolific and well-written!)

[lavender-lotion]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had! 

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Teen And Up Audiences | Major Character Death | M/M | Teen Wolf (TV) | Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski | Chris Argent, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski | Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Peter Hale Dies, Unhappy Ending

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know??? 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more 

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation! 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) | John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake | Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, X-Men (Team) | Not Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Summer, Teasing, Fluff

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey​ & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 11x07: Promises Broken - Analysis

How did everyone like episode 11x07? This is going to be pretty short and sweet today. Right off the bat, I have less to say about this episode that I did about last week's. I've also seen episode 8 already, and it's phenomenal. I’ll have a lot more to say about next week’s as well. 11x07 is one of those episodes that sort of transitions between big events. They are still definitely some interesting developments that I’ll talk about. But not as much detail to go into.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 11x07. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

There were two major Beth callbacks that really grabbed my attention. I'll talk about both of them and then briefly about what happens at the Commonwealth. Tomorrow I’ll do Details as usual and honestly the rest the week may be Asks. Not only because I don't have much time this week to get new posts written, but also because the Asks are really building up in my inbox and I need to get them all answered.

First major Beth saw tie-in I saw:

We learned more about Elijah in this episode. I no longer worry about him being a plant or mole of any kind. He does seem to be disappearing at random times, but we learned in this episode that his sister was killed in the attack by the reapers (actually, we already knew that), but more specifically that she's a walker somewhere. He wasn't able to put her down.

In the opening scene, a teenage girl walker moves toward the group and Maggie kills her. She says that this young woman was Elijah's sister's best friend. We learn that Elijah’s sister is still out there somewhere.

If that's not a huge tie to Beth and what we believe happened during the missing 17 days, I don't know what is.

Later in the episode, as Maggie and Elijah are leading the walker horde toward Meridian, he looks over and sees his sister as a walker. It was somewhat reminiscent of Michonne in 4B. But mostly, it just screamed Beth to me.

Obviously, in this case, Elijah was able to find his sister and she truly is deceased. It was difficult because when he sees her, they are leading the walker horde, and therefore he couldn't actually put her down. If he had, it would've gotten the attention of the rest of the walkers and he and Maggie probably would've been eaten. But he started to cry, and Maggie held his hand. I thought it was very sweet and poignant. But I also couldn't help but think that Maggie is so very sympathetic toward him because she knows EXACTLY how he feels.

Second major Beth callback:

This one came through Daryl and Leah's storyline. They find a young family, who Pope tells them to kill. But Leah has an intense emotional reaction, especially when she sees the couple's son, who looks like he's probably not too many years older than Matthew was. She defies Pope’s order and doesn't kill the family. Instead, she tells the father and son to run away. The mother, who was badly hurt, and probably wouldn't have survived anyway, asks Leah to kill her. But Leah, still upset, can't do it. So, Daryl does it for her.

He walks up to retrieve his arrow and covers the woman with a blanket. This was a direct call back to the Rich Bitch walker in Still, who he covered the blue tarp to appease Beth. Remember that after Lenny was killed by the Claimers, he also almost covered him with the tarp, but then ended up not.

In this scene with Leah, Daryl then turns around and says, "Leah, I gotta tell you something." Obviously, he was going to tell her everything and try to bring her in on his plan. He doesn't end up doing it because just then Pope radios and tells them to get back to camp. (I assume that's because they see Maggie’s walker horde coming.)

I can't help but think that everything about Leah reminded Daryl of Beth in this scene. She still wearing her blonde ponytail, she got emotional about the situation and had sympathy for the family. The fact that she reminded him so much of Beth in that moment is probably why he covered the deceased woman. It was an almost unconscious action because he was thinking of Beth. And that is why he decided to trust Leah, even though he didn't actually do it.

You might say that we have a bit of a Darth Vader situation going on here. Daryl is trying to figure out whether there is still good in Leah and whether he can trust her. That's why he's always watching her interactions with Pope so closely. He sort of wants to turn her to the good side, or TF’s side. And no, I don't think it's because of anything romantic. AK has said that's over with. But that doesn't mean Leah can't be helpful to him in making sure that Maggie and the rest of the group survive.

So, what this is probably going to come down to is Daryl finally showing Leah his hand, and then it will depend on whether helps him save Maggie and the others or turns on him and outs him to Pope. MSF next week. Just sayin’. ;D

Let's talk briefly about the Commonwealth.

We had this really weird sequence where Eugene and Stephonie are clearing walkers, but they see two younger people walk by who are being a little bit snotty about being near where walkers are.

Later, they see these two kissing under the pavilion, with walkers coming up behind them. Eugene runs out and saves them from the walkers. Another one shows up while Eugene is arguing that the young man, who turns out to be a total tool. Stephonie kills that walker, spraying the young guy’s girlfriend with blood.

While watching, I couldn’t figure out where this was leading. It was just so bizarre. Yes, Eugene and Stephani saved them from walkers, and yes, they were being jerks about it, but why would there be walkers near them while they were on a date anyway? Why did Mercer lead them to a place with walkers nearby and then leave them alone? I just wasn't quite putting it all together.

We then learned that this young man is Pamela Milton’s son. That's why he so entitled, because his mother runs the community, so he thinks the world owes him something. Because Eugene hit him, poor Eugene finds himself in this in a cell again.

I didn't really put together what was going on until Hornsby showed up and said, "Now the price is higher. We need to know the name of your town and how to get there."

So, yeah. It was all a set up. They're wanted Eugene to do something else they could punish him for because they're trying to get the name of his settlement. It's no different than what they were trying to do in the interrogation. So, these people are pretty diabolical. They realized the interrogation wasn't working. Eugene's group wasn't intimidated by them and they knew they would get answers that way. So, they set up first the radio and then the situation with Pamela Milton’s son in order to try and force Eugene to give them the name of the name and location of Alexandria. 

At the end of the episode, it sounds like Eugene is thinking about caving, but we don't know whether he did or not in this episode.

Another thing of interest is that the real Stephanie who Eugene talked to on the radio seems to be Pamela Milton's receptionist. She and Yumiko did have some interaction in this episode.

Beyond that, we also did have a really interesting conversation between Maggie and Negan. Though there wasn’t much that was TD about it, I really did enjoy that scene.

I also still think they’re setting up something with Father Gabriel, but I’m still at a loss as to what it is.

That's it for today. Like I said, short and sweet. I'll be back with details and any developments from the talking dead tomorrow. How did everyone like this episode?

[skycruise]

Misha virtual panel Sunday 22 Nov, 2020

Tried to type as much as I could as he spoke. I know the whole thing will probably be up fairly soon so you can watch, but for now--

--He finished shooting in March

--Thought he had mourned the passing of the show & had processed it but finale was an emotional experience, took him out for a couple days

--Thinks the fandom isn’t going anywhere

--Favorite memory making recipe with kids and Vicky, talks about how cookbook came about, West made pasta with jam sauce for Thanksgiving

--Projects for future? Worked on political elections recently, planning to do more of that particularly Georgia in January. Publishing book of poetry. Couple of film projects but not as actor, one he’s interested in directing.

--How do you think Jack brought Cas back? There was a different ending that Covid made impossible, but not supposed to talk about it. Involved bringing back lots and lots of cast members from the past. In original ending, Cas hadn’t gone to rebuild Heaven there was a DIFFERENT CONCLUSION FOR HIM. He did not read the last 2 episodes after the changes. He thinks Cas and Jack are more “ethereal” when rebuilding Heaven. Pure speculation though, he doesn’t know. Will probably be better explored in fan fiction than what he could come up with.

--Fan from Brazil thanks him and asks a question I don’t fully understand. Misha talks about watching the finale with his kids. West and Maison asked him to tell them if a scary part comes up, but he had no idea. Evil clowns “shell shocked” and probably traumatized the kids. West wanted to watch something else to get it out of his head. Went to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm lol. Misha jokes he is doing a shitty job keeping his kids away from the horrors of the world.

--Castiel “melded” with Misha. Cas was just a soldier at first but over time we saw him unfurl so that he didn’t fit in anywhere “fish out of water” but tried to be a good person.

--What is the one thing he will take with him from playing Castiel? A lot. On a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. Talked about it with J2, how the characters became part of them over the years. Watching Dean’s death scene, he cried but because it was Cas’s friend Dean. It was a weird thing on an emotional level because the lines were blurry between himself and Cas. He feels he will literally take the character with him. Cas is part of him. Maybe he should double down on therapy to try and untangle him lol. Has a “naive” idea the fandom won’t go away, at least right away. Feels grateful to be a part of that, the fandom community does a lot of great things. 

--Favorite thing to bake with the kids? Pies. Though he doesn’t love pie, but he does bake a lot of them and the kids like them. Favorite kind of pie? Probably strawberry rhubarb. Doesn’t bake enough cakes! Recently made fortune cookies and put little messages inside, he put lewd messages in.

--He wants to know if he’s naive thinking the fandom will be around awhile. Fan says NO he is not.

--Misha also teared up in 15x18.

--Anything more he can say about stuff that didn’t happen in finale that was supposed to? He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal, but what are they going to do, fire him? It was a version of Sam and Dean’s Heaven that was populated with all these people from their past, all of the characters that we love from over the years were there. But COVID. 

--Favorite bts memory with the boys? He doesn’t have one, they were close friends for 12 years, lots of antics. Laughing fits, fights, got pissed off at each other, fondest memories of any work he’s done were on SPN, so much laughing and mirth, he’s going to miss that.

--Why did Cas’s trenchcoat remain intact despite all his deaths? Cas never lost the ability to magically mend his clothing. It made no sense that if he got stabbed or shot, sometimes it ripped the shirt but sometimes it wouldn’t. Or it would be cleaned up by the next episode. They wanted him to look like Constantine at the beginning, costume was 3 sizes too big, finally (he doesn’t remember what season) asked for a better fitting costume. New suit first, then lost the tie but eventually put it back. One season they just got him a whole new wardrobe and never explained it. He stole some trenchcoats.

--Cas’s confession was one scene where there wasn’t much joking around, he needed to be in an emotional state. Sat on a folding chair and ruminated on his own. Stunt coordinator noticed that and just stood by, knew Misha needed his space, it was really sweet. Made sure no one bothered him. Didn’t ask him to do that, it was intuitive & Misha was appreciative. Crew was great about that during heavy scenes.

--How did he feel reading script where Cas dies? Knew it was coming, had had conversations with Bobo, was happy with it. Felt a little risky and brave, was happy to be a part of that. Happy his character could express love like that. Has seen people complain about bury your gays trope and doesn’t think that’s what was happening. Cas is in Heaven, rebuilding Heaven, and also so much good came from that declaration. Cas saved Dean which was essential to saving the world. That declaration saved the world and was of Cas’s own volition, he wasn’t forced to do that, it was his choice & that’s important. Maybe he’s naive but he didn’t think they were playing into that trope. He’s glad Castiel got to express that. He’s proud that the show did that. He’s sure it’s a conversation that will continue to be dissected.

--Will he ever get an SPN tattoo? Hasn’t thought about it, has thought about getting one related to his kids. Is that a “has-been” tattoo? Should he get Jensen and Jared’s faces? LOL. Tattoo of Cas’s face on his abdomen? Nah probably no SPN tattoo.

--3 things he does to be kind to himself? Has a tendency to be hard on himself. Sleep, run, meditate. He feels guilty he doesn’t spend enough time with his kids so he does but doing that he sometimes doesn’t take care of himself as much which makes him grumpier and not a great dad. Balancing act.

--Fave moment of finale was Dean’s death scene. Masterfully executed, well done, excellent performances from J2. Made him cry. 

--Best memory of last day on set. Everyone was being really sweet, lots of tears from crew and cast. Last scene was last thing on Friday, Him Alex, Jensen, Speight had to fly to convention next morning. Finished around 130 am, got on chartered flight, 15 minutes in flash of light and BOOM, one of the engines exploded, circled back to Vancouver and plane was shaking, really scary, during emergency landing they were texting their loved ones because they weren’t sure if they’d see them again

--Did angels get their wings back? Yeah probably. Why wouldn’t they? He misses Castiel’s car though. The Pimpmobile. Had hydraulics. Remembers car jumping up and down because JARED broke it.

--Cas would be a great security guard because he never sleeps. Would not be a great teacher or architect or artist...could be handy in a kitchen though.

--What color are Cas’s wings? Misha always thought they were black, but maybe they’re rainbow colored!

--Worst joke from J2? Jokes J2 are not good people, they got really excited leading up to him directing because they were plotting, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture but Misha was tipped off by crew. Fish left under his car seat, again he was tipped off. One thing he remembers is Jared messing with his directors chair so that he would fall when he sat on it. Fell for it probably 5 times. Also Jared messing up his lines until Misha went to talk to him, which is when he got pied in the face. Everything looked blurry for like 20 minutes, Jensen brought him another shirt & apologized, then during lunchtime Jensen pied him too. 

--How did Cas feel when Jack became new god? Vindicated. Like, “we did it”. Also feels concerned that Jack is no longer Jack. But at his core Jack was still himself.

--Real story behind handprint? He doesn’t know, but it was a nice touch. Doesn’t remember how they came up with that. Great call back to very beginning. Poignant. 

--Favorite Dad joke? The one with the snail getting thrown across the yard and 2 years later asking what was that about.

--Didn’t hear this one well but what I picked up was Favorite con moments? He and Jensen have had really fun panels in Rome

--Favorite version of Castiel to play? Loved playing LuciferCas and HumanCas. Wishes there had been more HumanCas. But regular Cas was his overall favorite, wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Cas for any other Cas.

--Miss you guys, love you, hopefully see you soon.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: It's All Too Much (17x08)

I don't know... this one kind of just rolled right over me. Not in a bad way, not in a good.

Cons:

DeLuca's death is stupid, and the legacy of it here is still stupid. They had so much they could have done with his character, and now having everyone go through their tepid, repetitive grief routine is just tiresome. They gave most of the grieving material to Teddy, who I hate, and to Bailey, who I love, but I don't really like the response they gave her. She decides to order an autopsy and do an M&M about DeLuca's death to make sure no mistakes were made, but Richard tells her she's causing harm to the living, that no mistakes were made. It was just a tragedy. I don't know... does this seem like something Bailey would do? It felt like a more transparent excuse than usual, to have two characters standing in a room yelling at each other.                                                

And Teddy, with that whole thing where she keeps glimpsing DeLuca all over the place? It's really annoying and why would I connect with her grief over the loss of Andrew? There are other characters who I wanted to spend more time with. This was emphasized at the end when we had the memorial and we didn't get to hear what people were actually saying about DeLuca, because honestly most of these characters didn't have a personal connection with him... and the ones who did, didn't have a lot of screen time to deal with it. Then we end with Owen carrying Teddy home at the end... and the trailer showing a Teddy-centric episode next week... gah. No THANK you. I don't LIKE you, Teddy. Sorry not sorry.

The pacing was... strange during Link and Amelia's argument scene. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be worried about Link's drinking. Do I want to do a whole alcoholism story-line with him? No, no I don't. Link and Amelia are like a safe haven of more relatable stress on this show for me this season. I'm hopeful that this story is just about the stresses and conflicts that come from their situation, and that they'll weather the storm as always. They seem to show that in their last scene, but I don't know... I just didn't like their fight scene.

Pros:

Schmitt is my favorite. His speech to Bailey about how he feels like a bad Jew but how the ceremonies and traditions are really helpful to him... that was so sweet. I loved his moments with Nico in this episode too, where we got this acknowledgment that the problems in their relationship stemmed a lot from Nico's numbness. Then there's that moment during the memorial where Nico initiates a hand-hold. I'm so back and forth with these two. Ultimately I want Nico to pay a bit for his poor treatment of Levi... but they're showing that he's softened, that he is acknowledging his poor behavior in some small way... I don't know. I just want Levi to be happy.

So, the memorial was kind of a miss for me. Sure, I got misty-eyed whenever the camera focused on Carina, and when Andrew's interview video popped up there were a few tears. But overall the music and the sad panning camera over everyone's faces... it just didn't quite land for me. It's the smaller moments, really, that worked in terms of highlighting the grief, and for that we should turn to Maggie.

Maggie didn't have a ton of screen-time in this episode, but she made me cry twice. The first was at the beginning, when Winston (Maggie's bf, I finally learned his name!) is dancing with the kids to distract them from Maggie and Amelia having a moment. About DeLuca, and about Meredith still being so sick. Maggie is sitting on the chair crying while the kids are goofing off with Winston, and it was so poignant. The second was towards the end, when Helm admits that she had no compassion for DeLuca when he got sick, and now she's feeling so guilty, and she just wants the touch of another person. Maggie tells her to stand up and turn around, and then they just stand there, back to back, touching but not breathing on each other, and Helm allows herself to cry. So good.

I love Jo, I love her giggly, hysterical way of processing grief. I love the scene of her, Link, and Jackson just sitting around and drinking and complaining about their various woes. I'm not really on board the Jackson/Jo train because I think it's kind of lazy to pair them up, but I do think they have a natural, easy chemistry that reminds me of how much I've liked Jackson as a character over the years. Same thing goes for Maggie and Winston. Man, Jackson and Maggie really did just drag the worst out of each other, didn't they? I'm happy they're no longer together!

And then we've got Meredith. She's on the beach, deciding whether to live or die or whatnot. Derek is there again. Hearing Derek talk about Ellis was really heartwarming. I mean, it's always kind of hilarious how little the characters in Grey's are actually around for their children, but they have really tried to step up the importance of the children this season. I love that Zola is becoming more of a character in her own right, and even though we don't see much of Bailey or Ellis, their presence is certainly felt. Apparently Zola writes letters to her dad in her journal! And Ellis is the serious one, so much like her mom. Just... excuse me while I weep! And then you have Hayes coming in to talk to Meredith where she lays in bed, still on the ventilator, and he's encouraging her to wake up for the sake of her children. Meredith is anxious about Derek, but he says not to worry, that he'll be right there when she needs him.

Like, all this afterlife/seeing dead character stuff... it's undeniably incredibly cheesy. It's also... really working for me, not gonna lie. I'm enjoying seeing Meredith get this weird, unconventional peace. She's fought so hard to be content with her life, and I want her to wake up and keep living it.

That's all for now! It's still bullshit that DeLuca is dead. I'm pissed about it. And I'm already preemptively frustrated by the Teddy-centric mess we're getting next week. But all in all, this episode was perfectly alright.

7.5/10

[musical-chick-13]

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder. 

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

[finneve]

Dreamland- part 1

Summary- after being convinced to visit a 1940s’ themed night, Steve Rogers falls in love with one of the performers. but jealous rears its head when he sees Bucky there one night. 

------

He had wanted to go back, return to what he knew. Finally, to be with the woman he loved. But as he stood on the street where Peggy lived and watched her embrace with her husband, Steve Rogers knew, this time truly held nothing for him anymore. Steve knew he could never live with himself if he were to ruin a happy marriage.

So, he returned to the future, his future. The warm embrace of friends and to the world he had helped save so many times over. Though, he didn’t miss the questioning look he got from Bucky when he had reappeared on the time travel platform only mere seconds after his departure. Bucky had been surprised to see him again at the lakeside.

“What happened?” he asked later when the pair were sharing a drink back at the compound. “Ah, she was happy and in love with someone else,” Steve admitted. “she got married,” Leaning back Bucky let out a low whistle.

“Sorry man,”

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve half laughed. Perhaps it was a silly dream to begin with, to think he would be able to go back and slot perfectly back into Peggy’s life. Buck didn’t press any further for more information and for that, Steve was relieved.

Steve resigned himself now to a quieter life. The mantle of Captain America passed onto Sam. In all, Steve was glad to be rid of it. The pressure to constantly uphold truth, honour and justice was a burden lifted from his shoulders, when he gave Sam that shield. While he had been sad to part with it, he knew Sam was the best man for the job. He would still help the team of course, but from more of a logistics point of view. Finally, he was free, but to do what exactly?

Suggestions were made, some jokes at his expense. About the need to get laid or find a hobby. Like collecting fast cars or various properties, like some weird dragon’s hoard.  While the idea of driving a nice car did appeal to him, Steve couldn’t see the logic in owning multiples of anything.

“Man, maybe spend some of that money you got stockpiled,” Tony had decried one day. The man had been trying to convince to get into vintage luxury cars, or even some that they could race around a track and waste time and money on.

“That bank account would be looking very healthy these days,” Sam joked, “all that interest from 1945, you’d be a rich man even without stark’s money,”

“Yeah I guess,”

Steve didn’t like the idea of spending money just cause he could. A childhood of being told to save every penny and the depression era combined did wonders for his spend-thrift attitude. No, that money would stay in the bank for now.

It had been Natasha that made a more reasonable recommendation.

“Hey,” she called after him. They had just stepped out of a meeting.  Slowing down, Steve allowed her to fall into step beside him.

“Look there’s a place in the city that might help with your nostalgia blues,”

“What the museum?” Steve scoffed. The blond man scratched at his chin in slight annoyance. Not that he didn’t like the museum, but he was sick of seeing that memorial to him as Captain America. While it had been aimed at informing the public about the heroics of him, the Howling Commandos and their wartime exploits, now it just felt empty. Littered with half-truths and faces long gone from this world. It had become an unwanted reminder of what he had lost all those years ago when he was frozen in the ice. Steve knew Bucky too had mixed feelings about it, as it still said that he was dead.

“No, idiot,” though she insulted him, Natasha grinned.

“A club downtown, I think it would be your vibe,”

“What’s the point if I can’t get drunk?”

“The general aesthetic,” the woman just shook her head at him. Snatching up his phone she set about putting her plan in motion.  

“There, I put in the address to your phone, it’s a good place for a drink and to relax,” and with a wink the former assassin spun on her heel and strutted away. But the thought of going to some dive bar to get his rocks off was just so unappealing. No there is no way he could go.

However, in the quiet of the night, nightmares haunted his sleep. The flashbacks of Bucky falling from that train, the horrors of wartime Europe, having to say goodbye to Peggy before hurdling into the icy Atlantic, it all swirled through his mind. The replay of falling to stop Thanos, losing Buck again, it made he want to avoid sleep. In in those moments after he wakes in fear that, he pulls up the address of the club on his phone. “Dreamland”, the clubs’ name seemed very poignant right now, giving his troubles with actually sleeping. What could be the harm in checking it out at least once? Rubbing at his eyes Steve shakes the enticement from his head.

But still, he puts it off. Going to the place Nat had suggested. Not wanting to give in to the temptation of nostalgia. Still the nightmares persist. Every night he wakes in cold sweat, showers and proceeds to walk the somewhat quiet streets. Something to keep the nightmares at bay. He wandered more and more.  

Again, he looks at the address. Hmm only a street away, he thought pensively. Maybe a quick look and a drink wouldn’t hurt. At least then when Natasha questions him over it, he can say it just didn’t work. But as he stood before it, suddenly the pieces fell into place. At the top of the arch, a bright neon sign. In cheery pink, the word “Dreamland” glowed.

A cabaret club?

“You’ve got to be joking Nat,” Steve voiced his thoughts. Loud enough for an older woman hurrying past to give him a quizzical stare. A burly bouncer sat aside the door. The mountain of a man looked Steve up and down.

“The show’s nearly over pal,”

Steve just shrugged. Even only a few moments of respite would be heaven-sent. He paid the admission and finally entered the club. Down the rabbit hole of a corridor.  Soft coloured lights shimmered off the wall as he moved further in. The clamour of the club carried out to his ears.

A decent sized room opened before him.  Steve rubbed at his eyes, a wave of shock creeping over. Nat had been right, of course.  This unassuming place appeared to be an almost exact replica of old club from the 40s’. Art deco stylings had been made. Soft warm lights illuminated the space well. What looked to be a fully stocked bar crowded much of the back wall. Waitresses dressed like cigarette girls bustled around taking drink orders and selling other items, like candy or chewing gum. From the stage the swinging, soulful notes of jazz reverberated around the room. A real jazz band rather than music that was blared over a speaker system. A nice touch, he thought as he slid up against the dark wood bar.

“What can I get you honey?” the barmaid’s toothy smile was sweet enough.

“Ah, just a beer, does matter which,” he shrugged, setting down enough bills to pay for said beer.

“sure thing,”  

Upon its arrival, Steve took a swig of the beer.  He nodded his thanks. Maybe he should have brought Bucky, he would have gotten a kick out of seeing this club done up like it was 1941. The music had kicked up as two dancing girls pranced around the stage, to a cheery jazz tune. Though Steve wasn’t sure of the actual song. They were a pretty sight. Big smiles and glimmering eyes shone brighter still as they twirled and danced their set. Their red costumes dazzled and gleamed up under the bright stage lights.

Taking the empty table, Steve sipped at the beer. Argh, the craft beer was not worth the price. But he sipped again, after he had just paid ten dollars for it, even though the alcohol won’t affect him. The beer in his hand would not make him feel so out of place amongst the other patrons.

As he sat, nursing the beer, Steve allowed himself to glance around the room. Nat had been right. This place truly felt as if it had been plucked straight out of time and thrown back down, unchanged, untouched in the last 70 years. How easily this could have felt like cheap imitation. Unnoticed by the modern eye but The art deco stylings on the wall continued around the whole bar. Plush velvet booths had been pushed back against the walls and set with a singular soft light. The rest of the open space before the stage was scatted with tables and chairs, creating an almost amphitheatre around the performance space.

Even a thin haze of smoke emanated around the space, giving off that dreamlike quality to it all. Briefly he wondered where the smoke came from, as Steve was positive you could no longer smoke cigarettes indoors. A machine perhaps. His best friend would enjoy this, a brief glimpse back in time. Bucky would utterly indulge in the spectacle, drink in the ambience of it all. Be glad to be reminded of the times before they shipped off to the war, until memories of what happened after plagued him once more.

His fingers picked at the label on the beer. A minor way of venting frustrations that really didn’t alleviate anything of the feelings Steve had swirling around his mind. But he sipped at the beer once more. He might as well stay until closing and then continue with his insomniac walking.

The final notes of music played out, as the girls dipped into a bow. A table of men down the front whooped and cheered for the pair as a smattering of polite applause rippled out from those closest to the stage. Steve took another swig of the beer. He allowed himself to wonder what the next act would be, if it too would be a poor attempt to capture past nostalgia. The din of the other patrons rambled and pitched the time between the acts came to an end.

The red lighting altered, filling the room with a cool blue hue. Soft tones of a piano filled the air as the crowd fell into a collective hush. Even the rowdy men at the front table had fallen into hushed whispers. Looking back at the stage, he wondered what act would get such a reaction from the gathered crowd.

As if out of thin air, there she appeared, alone on the stage. Agape, Steve barely heard the announcer call her name. he couldn’t help but stare at the vision before him. Soft hair perfectly coiffed and curled, soft plump lips painted a deep red.  Clearly an effort to make her into a siren of the 1940s had been made.  

Slowly the piano was joined by a mellow tune of a trumpet and string instruments harmonise along. Slowly as the music warms up the woman on stage began to sing. Unexpectedly Steve can’t tear his eyes away. The sweet dulcet tones that spilt from her, struck him to the core. He couldn’t move; but sit transfixed on 1940’s dream. On how the silk of her dress fell over her hips, how soft and inviting her skin seemed to be as it shone under the bright stage light. Through the steady beams of light, the soft material appeared almost see-through. It made her look otherworldly and gorgeous. Delicate in a certain unspoken way and to Steve’s utter shock, it stirs him.

She glides over the stage, floating like an ethereal being.  Steve leans forward, gaze fixed on this utter vision. Her tour of the stage stops almost directly in front of him. A smirk graces her features. Her eyes piercing as if into his very soul, making him come undone with just a look. Her hips bopped to the soft melody, as she twirled back to the piano.

Her own gaze didn’t waver or falter, even splayed out over the piano. She eyes him with subtle curiosity. Still that smile beamed off her. Her form pushed off the piano, allowing her to take centre stage once more. The final beats of the melody rung out from the band as her fingers grazed over the mic stand.                

                                       “Dream a little dream of me,”

As her song finishes and her voice cooed the last few notes, she eyes him again and with a sly wink, she smiled. To an eruption of applause, the vixen did bow. Before exiting, her eyes scan over the room before seeming to land on him. Even from his seat, Steve could see they were the most brilliant shade of (y/e/c). A wink, a smile. She bounced with a girlish grin before disappearing off the stage. An eruption of applause still followed her.

Dumbstruck, Steve still stared after her, to the place where she had vanished from sight. Instantly his mind was racing. As his eyes darted around the bar, a million questions seem to flood his brain, all clamouring to make it impossible to answer a single one. Who was that singer? Why had it taken nearly a decade to hear about this place? Had he been under some rock since waking from the ice? What was her name? My, how that was an important question. Steve had to know her name. Oh, how he wanted her all for his own.

[sparring-spirals]

ep 98 belated lb, for the sake of not flooding dashes betw this and hopefully catching up on posts after i finish. Don’t be fooled, I will probably still make individual posts for the parts of the ep I still want to yell about. this goes up until the battle, for the sake of length.

- making note of the cad/nott convo about justice and vengeance. fascinating. fascinating.

- THE HAT. all the hat convos. absolutely hilarious. “Someone just up and snatched it in the middle of the party.”

- Marion: “I can get you a new one”. Fjord, with the most pained expression known to man: “s...ure “

- Jester: “Let what you want be known to the world.” Fjord, confused and emotionally turbulent after the back and forth: “Fuckin pick one. which one is it.”

- everyone other than jester is fucking awful at messages, apparently. And lbr jester is her own brand of chaotic with messages. We give them shit for never giving heads up but tbh sometimes its a miracle the M9 communicates info at all. :D

- Case and point, Jester: “he was just going, caleb kissed me caleb kissed me”. The M9, completely unphased by jester-interpretation of messages and/or shadowgast shippers: “...yeah that checks out.”

- fjord caleb interaction re: the argument at the start. damn. what a fascinating callback.

- these dumbasses. encounter a magical storage artifact and their first question is “can WE go in it???” i love them.

- yasha having a self care day!!! :’) good. she deserves it. <3

- “i have no idea whats in it but i’ll sell it to you for 200 gold” is this??? a gacha machine?

- oh man yeza is trying so hard to support her and veth is trying so hard to look at everything pragmatically while doing her duty to her husband. This is simultaneously already resolved and also painfully not. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

-”You are like the greatest husband ever, can I just say.” :’) <3 <3 <3 

- also pshhh what do you mean luc should learn things other than how to use a crossbow. nonsense.

- “Please don’t get in too much danger.”

“I can’t promise that but I can promise my friends will do their best to protect me.” AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

“I want my wife. I don’t want a poem.” CHRIST MATT NO PULLING PUNCHES HUH.

- ... beau giving off mild camp counselor vibes. this is the best sign of growth: she no longer effortlessly exudes the delinquent vibes she used to. 

- ngl im surprised that immediately after exploding a bird with wind beau didn’t just gloat at professor thaddeus, wherever he is.

- idk if the gift is related to the whole “got beau high by accident” thing but its a very sweet gift nonetheless.

- Fashion Show Beau :D please tell me there’s art of this. i love the m9 for shit like this. they all got on board (haha) so fast. Shouting suggestions, compliments. Caleb casts dancing lights. these 

- a 26 on a natural 1. what. what.

- Arts and craft on a boat. :D

- I am reminded that i missed so much of the last pirate arc. is “fighting a random storm guy” when the stormlord sent down angels to kick yashas ass?

- Ongoing course, “Getting Ass Kicked By Lightning Beasts”, 3 credit hours, participation required. 

- BEAUYASHSTER CRAFT NIGHT. and Jester opening up about her feelings! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. *makes more notes* 

- (tbh this conversation makes me feel a lot better about the Traveller. :D)

- I’m so glad that they’re all having this conversation, oh my god. Its very good and very open and it makes me very happy. ot3. sorry who said that. 

- i looked away for thirty seconds and it turns from craft night into clay-tasting, wh-

- yasha someone just chucked you into the water until you learned huh.

- also: major green team (i have to rename them maybe) vibes with: “no i won’t do what you ask. but. i will help.”

- oh fuck im gonna have to rewatch this fjord caleb conversation. its so good.

- “I don’t know if I’m more comfortable or if I just care less.” AAAAAAAAAAAAH FJORD. 

- “This is more life than I ever thought I would see.” brjeaus out here bein like “damn weird how life is going okay” aaaaaaaah.

- I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT THEY WOULD LET THIS CONVERSATION HAPPEN AND THEN *redacted redacted redacted* >:((((

- caleb having all these emotions giving me all these emotions talking about how he killed a family and now has this one.

- CALEB AND FJORD SHARING FAMILY FEELINGS? IM? WOW YALL WHAT. “You’re a good person.” “no U” (this whole convo in a nutshell)

- fuck tbh this deserves its own post. 

“If your eyes are on them, our eyes are on you.” GODDAMN. 

- “STORMS A BREWIN-” “why does your voice change-” I adore these two ribbing each other and beau as an overenthusiastic pirate. captain and his first mate <3

--- I took a day long break to handle some shit. Alright. Fine. Lets do this. Lets do the battle. ---

- oh just kidding its not the battle its yasha Goin Thru Some Dream Shit. 

-there is Something Incredibly Poignant about yasha, falling through the air, reaching a hand out at her god, asking for help-ohfuckshegothitbylightning.

- i dont like stormlord taking after ukatoa with the ominous 1 word statements. that is NOT a good role model, stormlord. you dont want to stab yasha in the chest do you. .... DO YOU.

- SCREAMS TRIUMPHANTLY FOREVER ABOUT YASHA OPENING HER WINGS AND FLYING OUT OF THE CHASM GOD HOW MUCH SHIT HAPPENED THIS EPISODE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

- wow no one is getting rest 2nite.

- i am confused if this is happening happening or a dream and also wow he got stabbed real early in

- okay but also i love the cast for how they always collectively scream whenever a battle map comes out. also WOW WHAT A BADASS SHIP/MAP.

- CAN YOU IMAGINE JUST WAKING UP TO BEING FUCKING STABBED AND THEN CHOMPED. GOD. POOR FJORD. MY BOY.

- the psychic damage just sprinkled in there because he is having a Bad Time.

- do you think that initially the crew was like “huh guess our captain accidentally sleep-teleported off the ship, damn- OH FUCK ENEMIES”

- okay yeah i’m gonna make a separate post for the battle just because this is getting unreasonably long

- c h r i s t this battle.

[thecostumevaultblog]

I was tagged by the absolutely lovely @petegoestotown

Rules: answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.

⭐️My Questions⭐️

1. Favourite album?

Like, it changes every half a year. I get obsessed easily… Right now it’s Harry Styles’ Fine Line, but I’ve also been absolutely obsessed with Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors, and Green Day’s American Idiot. I’m very eclectic in my taste…and a bit ashamed of the fact, to be honest.

2. Who were you in a past life?

I like to think I was Elisabeth of Austria (Sissi). You know the type, glamorous, rich and miserable. But, knowing my luck, I probably was just a fisherman’s wife who died of malnourishment and bad medical care during the delivery of her fifth child or something like that.

3. Airdrumming or airguitar?

Definitely airdrumming. I’m traumatized with guitar playing… and that’s a way too long story for today.

4. Where would you travel in time if you could?

Realistically, back to 2012 and go through collage again. Those were fun times.

But for funsies sake, Spain in the 1550’s just because I love the women’s fashion and England in the 1880’s for pretty much the same reason.

Big gowns are literally the only reason anyone would persuade me to go back in time. I’m pretty sure that at whatever point I went back I would end up either being burned at the stake for heresy, hanged for witchcraft or sent to an asylum for “hysteria”. I’ve never been a lucky gal.

5. Do you play a sport? Which?

Satan, get away from me! I hate all and any sports and have made a life goal never to play one.

6. What weird food combinations do you enjoy?

I don’t have any… I think. I’m pretty vanilla with my food choices. The only thing I seem to love that all non-mediterraneans I’ve meet seem to think it’s disgusting is olives. But that’s not a food combination.

7. Do you think aliens exist?

Yes, probably. But I doubt they're even remotely similar to humans. They are probably bacteria or something like that.

8. Who’s your favourite stand up comedian?

I don’t really have a favourite, because I don’t watch much stand up comedy, but I loved the bits I saw Trevor Noah do.

9. What movie or book do you know the most quotes from?

Anything by Shakespeare. I am shit at remembering book quotes. But my memory is not so bad with film. So, also Lord of the Rings, Cyrano de Bergerac and anything from the Disney Animation Studio.

10. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush and who was it?

I was about 9, and it was Orlando Bloom. I promise it was all very innocent and pure... I was really young. *So embarrassing*

my questions ~

1. what would you put into your own created salad?

Oh, I do this all the time. I love this salad: lentils, tuna fish, olives, sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, grated celery, grated beet, crab sticks and mozzarella. It’s amazing!

2. what would your call your garage band?

Loudly Whispers

3. which planet has the prettiest name in your opinion (in our solar system)?

Mercury. Don’t know why…

4. night mode or day mode on your phone?

Day mode! Night mode makes the screen look too green for me. It’s too much like the Matrix!

5. what was your fav childhood series?

It was an animated show called “Papyrus”. It was a French production, but it got translated to a bunch of different languages and I used to watch it in Catalan on TV. I just loved Ancient Egypt growing up…

6. what was the worst book you ever read voluntary?

50 Shades of Grey. Before you lose all respect for me… it wasn’t exactly voluntary… My aunt gave it to me as a present because “you said you like to read!” and I thought that it would be nice actually reading the book and be able to criticize it knowing the full extend of the thing.

7. if you could only ever eat fish or meat, what would you choose? (if youre a vegetarian:high five)

I couldn’t be a vegetarian… I would say fish.

8. if someone gave you a DVD with all the times people talked about you behind your back, would you watch it?

Oh dear! Oh dear! Don’t do this to me. I would throw it away only to get drunk thinking about what must be in there and proceed to fish it out and cry-watch it while intoxicated. And then be depressed and hating myself for watching it for a month.

9. pen or pencil?

Pen

10. whos your fav tumblr blogs? send them a nice message!

@tourdeforced, @tallulalusa, @thehowlingghost, @petegoestotown, @23-tiny-wishes, @kitty-rushes-in, @elleisforlovee, @vendelaberglin, @nails-n-glam, @weloveperioddrama, @lalilaloli, @pristina-nomine

I adore all of you and make me smile every-time you post! <3

my questions:

1. did a book or movie change your life or majorly shifted your views on a topic?

Not so much changed my life or my mind on anything… but I was really shaken after watching the James Baldwin documentary I Am Not Your Negro. Like, it showed me nothing new or nothing that I didn’t think already, but it phrased it in such a poetic and yet poignant way that it absolutely shook me to my core.

2. you’re allowed to dress in the style of one youth culture only for the rest of your life, which one do you choose?

The depressed Goth… I wanted so bad to be Goth, but my mum wouldn’t let me buy the pertinent clothing to achieve it.

3. what type of gifts do you love to receive?

I’m so picky with gifts… because my taste is so niche and I’m obsessive with the most obscure things that people sort of tend to miss the mark. Still, with that in mind, I love to receive films and books as gifts, because even if it’s not about whatever topic I’m currently fixated on, there’s always something of interest in them.

I hate being gifted knick-knacks, I want thinks that allow me to find something in them.

4. do you know your MBTI type?

MBTI? What is that? Well, I guess that definitely answers your question.

5. would you like to have dinner with a time Traveller from the future or with your favourite author?

Favourite author. I don’t want to be told how humanity ends.

6. would you run your country for a year?

Nop. Not a chance. I would be terrified of being unable to fix the things I think need to change. And I’m terrified of messing up.

7. which piece of art would you like to own?

Shit. Every single one of them?

If I had to choose one, though, it would be Velázquez’s Las Meninas. Such a shame it wouldn’t fit my apartment.

8. do you have pet peeves?

There’s people who don’t? I hate when people bend the page on a book to mark it. I hate when people invite themselves to my house. I hate when people leave things out of their proper place… and many, many more.

9. which fictional character is a lot like you?

I don’t really know…mmm… I’ve been told Monica, from Friends. I’ve been told a lot I look like Leia… But I would say, Alma from The Phantom Thread if she used sass and self-depreciating humor to hide her vulnerability. Don’t really know what that says about me…

10. a quote you’d like to share:

“I will no longer mutilate and destroy myself in order to find a secret behind the ruins.” Herman Hesse

💖 MY QUESTIONS 💖

1. What’s your favourite thing to do alone?

2. What’s the thing you always carry in your purse?

3. A book or a film that stayed with you long after you finished it?

4. Have you ever gone to the movies and payed to watch a film you knew wasn’t worth it?

5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

6. What’s the one food you can’t live without?

7. Period dramas. Yay or Nay

8. What thing in your daily routine would you pay not to have to do?

9. What was the one thing you had to cancel due to the Covid Crisis that made you want to throw a tantrum?

10. What language would you like to learn?

@petegoestotown this was FUN! Thanks! I’m currently very bored and this is the perfect entertainment! Lots of love and don’t stop tagging me!

Now, the part that makes me sort of uncomfortable… I tag the usual people @tourdeforced, @tallulalusa, @thehowlingghost, @23-tiny-wishes, @kitty-rushes-in, @elleisforlovee, @vendelaberglin, @nails-n-glam, @weloveperioddrama, @lalilaloli, @pristina-nomine, please feel free to ignore me if I’m tiresome. Also, everyone else who wants to participate!

[sapphireglyphs]

i was not tagged but saw it on @agustdfeatrm​ blog and reading her answers inspired me to wanna play too! 

When did you first get into bts? late september of 2019

why or/and how did you get into bts: i actually wrote about my experience with bts for my first festa this year. i technically listened to my first bts song randomly when i was at work and my k-pop shuffle playlist on youtube recommended “boy with luv” but the first time i was introduced to group itself was through my best friend @omiyukio​. i had developed a hyperfixation with exo earlier that year and was swapping song suggestions, member profile info, and youtube compilation vids -- she would listen to exo music and in turn i would listen to bts songs. now, almost a year later, we both became hardcore exotannies. 🤩

first bts song: “Boy With Luv” feat. Halsey

favorite bts song?: i don’t think it’s possible to have just one favorite bts song bc their discography is so diverse, extensive, and well produced. i’ll list my top 25:

1: Ddaeng (땡)   2: So Far Away 3: Trivia 轉: Seesaw  4: Baepsae (뱁새) 5: Still With You 6: Home 7: Serendipity 8: Spring Day 9:  Euphoria 10: Pied Piper 11: Singularity 12: Whalien 52 13: Epiphany   14: My Time 15: Magic Shop 16: Tonight 17: Fake Love 18: Tomorrow 19: ON 20: Blue & Grey 21: Sweet Night 22: Filter 23: Lie 24: We On 25: Intro: Persona

first official comeback: black swan

favorite bts era: mots:7

bias(s): namjoonie

bias wrecker(s): yoongles + gukkie

first concert: online: bang bang con, offline i had front row tickets + sound check to see them at the rose bowl this year for my birthday but a stupid world wide pandemic cancelled that... i’m not bitter...😒  not yet 

do you own any merch: i got the mots edition of the army bomb for my birthday from my bff @omiyukio  ♡ I own an RJ plush keychain, a mini sitting Kookie plush, and a mini ARMY bomb keychain. i also have the membership kit which i had ordered back in january but i just received last month.😅  

what member would you say you are most like? my bff says that i remind her of hobi... but i wish i had the work ethic he has (or any of the guys have). i do see similarities though. both hobi and i have a rather positive outlook on life. we thrive on making other people happy (but not really in the way that jin does; i feel like their approach to making others happy is different) and we don’t like to stress and would much rather go with the flow. we’re both very sensitive people who are passionate about the things that bring us joy. i also feel like despite the fact that we can potentially be amazing superstars in our own capacity, we both are happiest when we are supporting and working with others so that we may share in the success as a team. also, we both make weird noises and often times talk to ourselves. the people around us have done their best to acclimate to our idiosyncrasies.😂😂😂 

favourite bts lyrics:

from so far away:

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life dream, will be generous to you wherever you stand  dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships dream, the beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

from fake love:

I wish love was perfect as love itself ... I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed in a dream that can’t come true

from spring day: (honestly, i would have put the entire song 😥)

I wish to end this winter How much longings must fall like snow  before that spring day arrives Friend ... Like a tiny dust wandering in void Like a tiny dust  If I were a fluttering snowflake, I would be able to reach you a little faster ... The flowers of snow fall And little by little, they drift apart  I miss you, I miss you How much longer should I wait and how many sleepless nights should I spend before I get to see you before I get to meet you

from house of cards:

A house made of cards, and us, inside Though we see the end, though we know that it’ll soon collapse A house made of cards- we, like fools, Even if this dream is in vain, stay like this a little longer

from outro:tear

We used to talk about forever,  but now we mercilessly destroy each other I thought we dreamed the same dream, but now the dream truly became just a dream My heart breaks Please rather burn it so that the pain and my lingering love don’t remain at all anymore

favourite music video: fake love, ON - kinetic manifesto: come prima, mic drop, bs&t, interlude:shadow

1 thing you love about bts: because... they’re the whole package. they’re seven ordinary (albeit very hard working and talented) guys pursuing their dream of creating music that is authentically them with the hopes that their art would bring comfort to those who take the time to listen. Despite the seemingly insurmountable odds that were stacked against them from the beginning, they rose to the challenge with poise, humbleness, and immaculate work ethic. Their brotherhood, their message of standing up for the youth, the disenfranchised whose voices are so often silenced, their courage to be unabashedly themselves constantly challenging what the industry or the world expects of them, their ever enduring love and appreciation for their fans, their powerful and moving music that is raw, poignant, and lyrically moving... all of these reasons are why i love bts.

and to finish off wholesomely, do you have a favourite bts group photo, if so share it here (if not, what is your fav concept photoshoot and share picture): 

i tag @omiyukio​​ and anyone else that is interested! tag me too so that i can read your answers! 💜

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

‘Twas the night before

(Newt and Jacob talk on the eve of Newt’s wedding. The details of this story have been taking shape in my mind for weeks, and they finally came together.)

The phonograph in Newt’s basement turned round and round, scratching out Vaudville tunes. Jacob relaxed on the leather cot with his feet propped up and a glass of scotch whiskey in hand. Newt fiddled with some equipment, calibrating and recalibrating instruments that really hadn’t needed calibration in the first place. But he was nervous, and Newt found work to be the best outlet for nervous energy.

Marguerite Farrell’s soprano voice filled the room with the lyrics of “Naughty!Naughty! Naughty!”

“I love this dame!” Jacob raised his glass to the music. When I was growing up, my folks sang songs from the Old Country. My pop brought home a phonograph about a year before the draft. They still didn’t speak much English then, so I don’t think they caught much of these words, but my ma loved the way this doll can hit the high notes.

As the song played, Newt’s ears caught the most poignant lyrics. “...You made me love you right from the start... Things you do just set me wild... I want you, I want you... What you can do with those wonderful eyes - I'm simply helpless when I'm with you - I wish I knew what to do...”

Tomorrow would be his wedding day. Tomorrow night would be his wedding night. Newt was as nervous as a long-tailed Matagot in a room full of rocking chairs.

“Sometimes music soothes the creatures when I’m performing veterinary care. The Augrey generally only sings when rain is coming, but it he also has an affinity for Jazz and will squalk along sometimes with the brass instruments.”

Jacob watched him ramble, noticing Newt’s own glass of scotch was still untouched on his desk. “Uh, Newt, this is supposed to be a bachelor party, right? Well, Theseus is stuck at work, he says, but me and you’ve got scotch and Marguerite and a plate full of paczkis I just baked this morning.”

Newt paused his nonsensical busywork and met Jacob’s gaze. “I... I don’t have prior experience with bachelor parties... and such.”

“And such, eh?” Jacob was already a bit buzzed but not too much to observe Newt glance away in thought about the ‘and such.’ “Well sit down, and let’s toast.”

Newt sank onto his wooden chair and reclined into the pillow that moulded perfectly to his lower back. He was as comfortable here as most anyplace else. He just wasn’t comfortable anywhere at all tonight, especially in his own skin.

Newt followed Jacob’s lead, picking up the glass of scotch and holding it out in front of him. Jacob clinked their glasses. “To my best friend, his bride to be, and everything you’ve been waiting for!”

Newt swallowed a large gulp, and the scotch warmed his throat. The sensation settled near his heart, buzzing a bit and decompressing him slightly. “Thanks, Jacob. This is... this is good.”

“Ain’t that the truth. And have a paczki. You’re nearly as white as as that Mr. Flamel.”

Newt did as he was told, gladly accepting the support Jacob was offering with his presence. The polish donut was a delicacy on his tongue along with the scotch.

“Pairs nicely, I say. Booze and sweets. Do you think Londoners would go for a bakery-pub combo? That’s the dream. For me and Queenie. And kids of course. She wants five. Five! Now don’t get me wrong. I’ll love making those kids with her...”

Newt shifted anxiously in his chair.

“...And I’ll love raising those kids with her. All my little Queenies and... Queenos. Queenos?” The scotch was talking now.

A grin spread over Newt’s face. “I doubt Queenie will be in favor of naming your future sons Queeno.”

Jacob slapped Newt affectionately on the shoulder, “You’re right about that. She’s got all their names picked out already. Is Tina like that too?”

“Tina?” Newt’s grin faded to a blank expression.

“Of course Tina... your bride... the woman you’re marrying... tomorrow.” As Newt’s face remained expressionless, Jacob muttered, “Have you been pouring yourself scotch when I wasn’t looking?”

“Yes, Tina. I mean, no. I mean, I don’t know. We haven’t talked much about kids — naming them or raising them or... or making them.”

Jacob suppressed a hearty laugh. “So tomorrow’s the big day. How you feelin’ about it?”

“About making kids with Tina?” Newt revealed where his thoughts lingered.

“Sure, why not!” Jacob learned long ago that when it comes to Newt, you’ve got to just go the way the conversation flows.

“What do you think I should say to her, you know... after the wedding... when we’re alone,” Newt asked the familiar question, the one he’d asked Jacob often before in a myriad of situations about what to say to Tina.

“I’d give you advice, but you know you’re just going to end up saying whatever it is that you will, and she’s gonna love it because she’s crazy about you.”

Newt blushed in this awareness. “Well, I’ve been reading up on mating rituals...”

“Mating rituals?!” Jacob interrupted, “On your wedding night, don’t say, ‘mating rituals.’ It’s sciencey....and weird.”

“Okay,” Newt conceded, more nervous than ever. He took another gulp of scotch.

“Talk with her about love. Tell her how you love her and how much you’ve been waiting to love her. And then... you know...”

“Know what exactly?” Newt asked.

“You know... then love her! Do all the things you’ve been waiting to do with her and all the things she’s been waiting to do with you.”

Newt’s face was beet red then, because there was so much he’d been wanting with Tina for so long, and the images were flooding his mind. “Well, that’s going to take longer than one night.”

Jacob laughed unapologetically this time, “You’ve got a lifetime, Pal... For all the mating rituals. ...Just don’t call it that!”

“Okay. Though not ALL mating rituals would be relevant to humans. There are certain body parts we’re lacking for full effect. No antlers for example. And only two hands a piece.”

“Antlers?!” Jacob threw up his hands. What would you do with antlers?!... Actually, never mind. I don’t want to know!”

“Two hands will be just fine. I hope,” was Newt’s subdued reply.

“Well, you have two and so does she, so that’s four hands.”

“Well, that does open up more possibilities.” The grin spread again across Newt’s face, and he settled more comfortably into his chair.

Jacob was content with the change. “This is getting to be a party, my friend. Let’s toast again.”

“Will do.” Newt raised his glass.

“To possibilities,” Jacob offered.

“To possibilities,” Newt agreed.

Marguerite finished her last song as their glasses clinked. It was time to play something new. Newt was excited for tomorrow — for all the tomorrows. Nervous, but better. ‘Love her,’ Jacob had said. That sounded simple enough. Newt knew he could do that well. Loving Tina was definitely something he was born to do.

[emzymakesbelieve]

not to be fake deep but let's talk about all your old walt babies that you haven't mentioned (because i love the hainline's okay and you and all your kids and i miss you

Send me an old muse and I’ll gush about them.

oKAY SIT DOWN AND BUCKLE UP, KIDDOS.

(I love you, too, sweet pea.  *smooch*)

Frank Hainline

So Frank is a prick, to start off, but he’s my prick and you’re not allowed to trash talk him without my say so (which of course you have because he’s A PRICK).  He was the kind of kid who wore an anarchy symbol on his jacket but never actually did anything to represent or invoke anarchy.  He’s also a gigantic slut and can’t keep his pants zipped for longer than ten minutes.  Fidelity is not this man’s middle name (*CoUgH* illegitimate child he never knew about).  He definitely wasn’t ready to become a father when Victoria got pregnant (and more or less trapped him into marriage), but by the time baby Penelope came, he devoted every ounce of energy he could to making sure she had a good life, and the two of them actually grew very close.  He passed away from cancer when Penelope was about ten.

Norma Hainline

Penelope’s eldest.  The two most important things you need to know about Norma are that she’s a dancer and she’s gay as a maypole.  Her main focuses are tap and ballet.  She loves old Hollywood - she got her start watching Singin’ in the Rain and Fred & Ginger films - but definitely prefers to live in the here and now where she can express herself both as an artist and as a lesbian.  The dance world, much as she loves it, is a crusty old institution that needs to break some pointless rules and get over itself.  She is also Grade A Mom Friend Extraordinaire™.  Her love language is definitely acts of service, particularly making sure you’re eating and sleeping well and taking your medicine on time (though turns out she’s a terrible patient herself).  Much to her frustration, her two closet friends - Noah and Nick - are both more or less bent on self destruction and driving her completely bonkers, but she loves them just the same.

Francis Hainline

Francis, the third eldest, has no business being in this family with how shy he is, but nevertheless.  Definitely the black sheep of the family, but his siblings defend and support him with everything they have.  (Well, Kath usually does it with a lot of sarcasm, but you can tell she loves him.)  He’s a total hipster and has a special love for anything that was built before the year 2000.  His prize possession is an old camcorder that uses real VHS tapes, so naturally he becomes a film student.  I envision him growing up and working as a cinematographer and eventual director of poignant indie films and documentaries - stuff with lots of lingering, fly-on-the-wall shots.  Also, special shoutout to Seraphina, the love of his got dang life.  Those two gave me so many freaking cavities with their cuteness.

Kathleen Hainline

So Kath is a mess, but that’s just par for the course in this family, I suppose.  She’s the baby of the family and has always felt like she’s living in her sister Norma’s shadow.  She’s a bit of a wild child, but certainly not to the extent Victoria was.  It’s all just a cry for attention, trust me.  She wants to feel needed, she wants to feel wanted, she wants to feel special.  And anything that takes the attention of the people she loves off of her needs to die, plain and simple.  She’s best friends with Daisy and is technically endgame with Jonas (though we really didn’t get to write them that far), so here goes a prayer candle for my lovely Becca.

Dory Novak

As you can probably guess by the name, Dory is based on that delightful blue tang we know and love.  In the Walt universe, she developed her short term memory loss after an accident that killed her parents, and was adopted by Marlin.  She loves swimming and her family and especially anything combining the two.  She’s a freaking sweetheart who is actually pretty hard on herself, and it was so heartbreaking to play her in any kind of stressful situation because five minutes later she would still be freaked out by have no idea as to why (looking at you, Scream event).  Also, Scooby liked her a lot and I felt so freaking blessed???  She ends up becoming a social worker and helping kids in the foster system like her.

Charlie Harper & Jenny Harper née Parkington

I never got to properly play Dory’s parents, but here’s the fast and skinny on them.  Jenny was a shy bookworm who never thought boys would be interested in her and (for the most part) had made peace with that theory.  Charlie was a jock who was head over heels for Jenny but never knew how to communicate it without being a sleaze.  Eventually, he manages to ask her out, she says yes, and they pretty much become attached at the hip.  She comes to his basketball games and swim meets decked out in the school colors and cheering like a maniac.  My guess is Dory came a little earlier than they were expecting, but not so early that it would be considered scandalous - probably when they were almost finished with college or something.  Dory became their world and they spoiled that little girl beyond belief.  Unfortunately, both of them were killed in a car wreck when Dory was very little.

Marlene Novak

Dory’s first kid, adopted.  To sum it up nicely, Marlene’s a hot mess because she was never able to come to terms with the fact that her birth mother didn’t want her.  I tried to start this whole plot where she ran into her birth mother just out in the wild and that made her get even messier, but I think I was just throwing crap on the fire to see what blew up at that point.  She also has a…flirtatious arrangement, shall we say, with her friend Viv.

Lyle Novak

Dory’s second kid, also adopted.  *sigh*  Lyle, Lyle, Lyle…  He’s a cutie, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I didn’t give his character enough punch?  He just seems kind of blah now that I look back at him.  I have a history of being super self conscious about my male characters if they don’t have like a Super Archetype personality for some freaking reason, and Lyle is definitely an example of that.  He’s a little shy, but not so shy that it’s endearing, and he’s also a little courageous, but not so courageous that he actually gets crap done.  He’s a little complacent, looking back on him, which is kind of the opposite of how I wanted to play him...?  I dunno.  Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself.  HE’S CUTE.  LIFE GOES ON.

Cinderella Tremaine

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I’ve actually played a Cinderella counterpart in a few different groups, but let’s just talk about how I portrayed her at Walt.  French transfer student in America (I changed her to straight up American after a point) who loves animals arguably more than life itself and tries her best not to cry over things she can’t control.  She’s also daydreamy as FRICK.  Loves to get lost in her own imagination.  If she’s not engaged in conversation or work of some kind, I can guarantee you her conscience isn’t even on this plane.  Also, can I just shriek about the superhero AU version of her where she was a counterpart to Zatanna and literally became her own fairy godmother?  Because I think about that far more than is probably healthy.

Emmett Tremaine & Johanna Tremaine née Cartier

Same thing as Dory’s parents, just gonna give you a quick lowdown.  Johanna came from a fairly well off family in France (distantly related to those guys, but far enough away that it doesn’t really count), but her parents thought she was an absolute embarrassment.  She was never afraid to speak her mind when it came to things like etiquette and politics, and she had a fabulously wild imagination.  She never stopped believing in fairies, ghosts, gremlins, things like that.  Emmett was that quiet nerd dreamer type, very much obsessed with travel and history.  And like I need to spell it out for you, but they were LUDICROUSLY in love with each other.  Like, nauseatingly so.

Robby Tremaine

Robby is Cindy’s son I whipped up real quick one next gen when I was going crazy and wanted to snatch Nick Robinson’s beautiful face.  He’s a hardcore farm boy who doesn’t mind a little mud behind his ears and super environmentally conscious.  Not just recycling and veganism and all that, but he will go off on you about sustainable farming and animal raising, and how the hydrogen fuel cell is the way of the future.

Taige Bailey

Based on Terk from Tarzan, Taige is a super jock, total butch lesbian, and altogether DUMBNUT.  Like, GOD she’s so stupid sometimes because she just barrels into crap with reckless abandon and doesn’t think things through.  Dear God, she will PUNCH you if you so much as look at her funny, just ‘cause she feels bored.  And she walks around like she’s God’s gift to creation, but she’s just a little twerp.  But she’s my twerp.  (Huh.  I’m just now realizing how similar Taige and Pen are.  In a weird way, Taige is like the tomboy version of Pen.)  Here, you can imagine me lighting a prayer candle because I never got to play her against her two best friends and I’m SAD.  Y’ALL NEVER GOT TO EXPERIENCE THE TOUR DE FORCE THAT IS T CUBED.  Also *cough* she and Vitani may have had a *coUGH* flirtationship.

I would also put Taige’s parents on this list, but they’re so hardly even developed that it’s not really worth mentioning them.  I only know their names: Lamarr and April.

Jared Bailey

Taige’s only child, Jared’s still trying to figure out what masculinity means to him, what with being raised by two women and all.  He can get a little “dudebro alpha male” sometimes, but he’s also that kid you definitely want to have your back when things get rough.  He’ll help you with your homework, teach you how to shoot a three-pointer, and walk you home when it’s dark like the gentleman he is.